what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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