I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
