yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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