Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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