Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
