So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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