It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
