It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
