Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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