Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
