Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Michael Bay diarrhea
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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