oh god the rape fog is back!
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
3pm strippers are depressing
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize