you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
