that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
