I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
