What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
