sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
