I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
