Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize