xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
