Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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