Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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