no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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