Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
