Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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