We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
