you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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