Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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