Someone shit on the floor
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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