Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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