Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
