yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
