My first STD was from a foam party
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
