i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
