soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
