I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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