it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize