Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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