She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize