My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
