Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
