I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
When are your genitals available?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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