i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
