I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
