when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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