She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
FUCK WHALES
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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