I just made out with a guy for $7.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just google imaged poop.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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