So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
