hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
