i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Omg I joined a choir last night...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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