Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
