handjob tips. give me some.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize