Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
