go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's rum buckets o'clock
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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