its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
