We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
