I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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