I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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