omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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