I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
