I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
