that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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