giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
