butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
