Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
